If I was born now maybe I would be able to feel beautiful in my #curls.
Even though in my teens I was a very successful print, tv & runway (yes at 1.5m) model from the pages of PEP to Vogue, I felt ugly. Even being one of the first coloured faces in our magazines malls and stores being called kroes, scary spice, Boskop, gumahare (slang for candyfloss) and a lot worse made me hate my hair myself. It's the reason I got into an extremely abusive relationship because at 16 all I could see was my "kroes hair" and how I never deserved better or could get better.
Top Billing did a feature once on my career and came to film me on one of my tvc sets I begged my agency to let me cut it shoot with straight hair they refused. When I got to school Monday I was told "I never knew they put boesmans on Top Billing" and cried in the toilet most of the day like I did almost every day. I got my first cut at 20 and drastic dye at 30.
Hair is such a personal thing and has such an impact on our self esteem. The way we have been programmed regarding hair has left us in a horrid position. You even have tangled telling you you're hair is only magical if it's long.
I must admit as I have gotten older, grown more into the woman I was meant to become I have a great sense of self and find myself falling for myself more and more each day. Although my hair was something that gave me insecurity it always opened many doors career wise and the same can be said for now. When I went to Tracey Serfontein my colourist I said I wanted to do something different, something I wont see often walking down the road so we went blue in 2014. It was amazing and people cannot seem to understand when I say I feel like blue is my natural colour. It just seems to bring out the real me like my superman uniform only I am not hiding it.
There is such power in embracing every aspect of ourselves, someone in a movie once said (probably Naruto, I actually decided blue at first because I am in love with Hinata lol) most times it is your strength that weakens you and your weakness that strengthens you. I understand that now my hair has always been my strength and the same things that I thought was what made me me is probably why I had the insecurity in the first place.
I have gone from long to short black to brown to purple to blue to white and am happy to once again be in my blue hue of happiness.